Puzzles of sweet memories

Has missed it for few days, but these few days weren't bored days, there were lots had happened that cause me into troubles, and the otherwise brought sweet memories to me!

First, is lab thing. Ever since we had been revealed on the blackmailing case by PE, and the DNA Pol cases, the seniors and we seem to stay in un-welcomed situation. I felt it especially strong in me, maybe the rest of them didn't really get it, as I was the one with heaviest sin, was the one on chopping board for this incident. Especially I felt terrible with ST, cause I'm not sure how to confront with her, how to communicate with her, and might have little difficulties dealing with other seniors.  I still owe her a thing, which I felt so lazy to return her, but no ways I still have to prepare for her I suppose, if not I might get into troubles as later she claimed back from me. It is like a mini-society there, I wonder, would that happen in my internship or working place later? I hope not. When I see the other labs' seniors and juniors, in harmonious relationship, I was admiring them tremendously. Certainly this lab is best if they can communicate with us smoothly and under proper tender loving care guidances. Now I have no energies to deal with labs' politics plus I need to troubleshoot my FYP which had lots of obstacles to push through, adding that the lab mates are also not in consistent mood and emotion sometimes.

Sometimes, in some occasion, somebody was bored, was silent, was out of mind, was desperate, was too bothered, each of us had been trapped in sorrow once, not only once, and might be thousands in coming times. But this title is indeed fun, if I were given a choice again, I would choose this title, but I would like to access by other masters not them~! They are simply strict, high standard and talented, which I just not compatible to this lab. I was so stress everyday and was not able to go bed properly. Almost each and every time, I dragged myself to bed, and was called up by my friends drooling with saliva with sleepy face that had almost sat still in table for at least half an hour. This lab thing even makes my period stunted for few months.

Now, we have less time staying in lab cause we are waiting the boss "clones"- the most precious and cutiest creatures to grow, no staying over for PCR, as we had been officially banned.

The nice moments now, was the Choon Heong's birthday celebration. That was a nice moment for that gathering. I dressed like a flower, a retro one, and was so content that day. There had been a long time I didn't drunk myself (just a little), and played crazily on the football game, with lots of pictures and nice foods, cakes and treats (the car-treat). That day, I ordered a cocktail, grapes plus orange plus vodka, named something sunrise, was nice, shared with Chia, later Mary gave me a Heneiken and I drank 3 oses of it. That night itself, I was crazily playing and got most times, winning the football games, later joined in Micheal Fatso and Samuel. They noticed me a little wild and so did Mary. She told me the next morning in the lab, so funny! Then on the way back, I spoke loudly, kept laughing, and made noises. Kaith and my friends suspected I was drunk, but frankly speaking, I did not feel that way. The night was fun, relax, and I slept sweetly with a heavy head.

The next morning, I woke up late, at 730am, I was shocked and jumped and yelled like hell, then steadily rush to the lab. Mary and I did felt sleepy and tired. Kaith bought me two bottles of coffee with Mocha, so sweet of him, I liked him that moment. It's so sweet to have someone buy things for you, perhaps this is the first time I received girft breakfast form him. I will never forget this. I really blessed to have so many good friends accompany me at moments, and appreciate it, especially in this cool, harsh FYP period.

As to conclude everything, I felt blessed that having friends around me, seriously, I need warm, I need hope now, eager to jump out of this suffocated deep holes. Soon, the time will reach soon=).

Apology

Today is the worst day that hit me, hit Mary. Both of us were being questioned on the blackmailing thing by PG, that was the dear PE whom borrowed us the used stock of Taq Pol and came to threaten us with barter exchange with cell culture tubes in return. We had predicted this would happen to us as yesterday we felt some tension from the PG from both labs. And we had too, prepared some scenarios where we could answer with uniform, and consistent answers at yesterday's night. This is the worst-to-worst senario that happened out of our prediction. Two PG and PE were sitting at one side, and we had 2 PG and 4 UG sitting at the other side, confronting each other, but the thing is within PG and UG rather than fish lab and immuno lab. This is the worst situation and we never want it to happen, it happened just too fast and unprepared. Their eyes were killing me, they stayed at me with questioning sight, burning me, and yet I was calm, no expression because I couldn't make one.

Only me and mary know the clearest of the situation, because it was really both of us to borrow and rush here and there to get the Taq. Recalled back, I and mary first went to fish lab and asked Jc, then Jc asked us to get from PE whom is the assistant of the lab after SL.Then we asked him and in return he wants something from our lab, knowing the location of cell culture plates, asked us to bring 2 packs for him. We were scared and took it lightly and leaved. Then in lift, we met with Pn Fazia, who is my mentor, I saw she is expecting, though I don't really want to trouble her I came to ask her. I sincerely hope she is fine with this. She agreed to give us the  Taq if her students have enough of it. No consulting masters as she don't have any. We were pleased and went to her lab, who knows met by ST friend's who is RA of Dr Sam. She has responsibilities over Pn Fazia students I suppose, which she approached me and ask my intention. With hesitate, I told her carefully on the truth. But we didn't take any from them as there was no tubes to fill. Later we went back with the used Taq given by fish people, and gave to rest of two UG whom are on way of mixing. Bad news spread fast. Within half an hour, ST came to us with the tube of Taq and warned us that she knew we tried to borrow from Dr Sam'a lab, but we explained that we just asked not taken any, which is true. This might leave her bad image of us about the Taq matter.

Today, when they confronted us, I and Mary confessed. The most shocking part came to us is ST was laughing by the time they questioned us, gosh! What is happening to her? She laughed, don't she remembered how we help her around in the lab, advise her on the matters, especially primer designing, how we fetch her to go and fro from gathering to school? How could she not help us, but laughing at us, waiting to see us being chopped on board? This image clearly captured into my head,  I guess I would never forget about this. She was disliked by me now, the way she acts is double faced, whichever side is winning, her head will be counted in there, so we are losing now, she stepped outside and laughed.

The way KL and SC handled are quite generous to us, although they used to scold us, act cool to us, warn us, but this moment, they are truthfully angry and worrying us. Unlike ST whom just take advantage on us to help her do gel, take protocol from us and so on.  The saddest part is Dr E was totally disappointed by our acts, and yet he appreciated my honesty. When he came in 3pm, the first question he asked us on explaining the situation, I  bravely stood up and confessed everything that it was my idea. And supplemented by Mary, I really appreciate her, as a true friend and comrade. Dr accepted our apologies and he acted so kind to remind, warm and spoke to us. He was really good, I like him so much he is the generous, humble man that be the outstanding lecturer  in this faculty.But his lab has so many demon PG, makes us not liking it that much.

So whatever over should be called to end, as we had done every apologies we could, to masters and Dr E. They had indeed helped us not to blow things big that cause disciplinary actions towards us.  Guess it stops here. End of story, I am glad I still in pieces.

So bad

Being too straight is not a good thing, often u may hurt someone or accidentally stab someone. I was so angry to myself today that I kept being targeted by questions that lead me to throw somebody into hard situation. For instances taking reagents, sharing pcr and also with the action such as spoiled jialee's gel head and delayed someothers work. I was so useless and helpless, I wanted to cry who should I ask for? Who should I tell to? I don't have friends to tell and speak such things. I guess family is the one I will look for comfort but I never cry in front of them or with then over the phone, previously I was too strong in personality thati will not bother to speak sad things to them but now I think I should just like everybody else share the problems with people and let myself being comforted!

Then I spoke to Mary she was so nice she called me but I felt not as much as good to tell other people outside of this situation cause she concerned mostly in her projects than my thing, which is pretty normal. I has just too eager to be loved by people that willing to hear and hug me unconditionally. Eventually she did comfort me stayed with me to such a problem creator.

I hate being in the situation where I can't create values instead bringing problems to them. This is the hard part that I have to faced cause people create problems and learn from that. This is society where we endure with others and meanwhile others also forgive our mistakes. I should not grab things too hard and make myself retain in sorrow too long, I need to jump out quickly and refuel myself and them around with hope before they abandone me!!

So how is tomorrow? How am I going to face all these in front of the people that I may hurt? Oh gosh I have no idea, I wish that I could escape here but no choice, I wanted to cry out and tell loud la come on!!

Rush hour

What is wrong with my result? Again, been bothered by FYP matters. These bands are moody, they are boss-y too. Occasionally they will show up and make you happy and sometimes they just hide from you drive you crazy. For those few months, started from February, we had been doing the PCR, checking bands, and now are going to purify my products. *Oops, seems like to report my scientific work here* The point is I never, neither do we, have a day which is lab-free (Except for weekends), are busy moving around the lab,rush up and down for pcr machine, autoclave machine. We are more closely now, far more than with the original gang. Now people are grouped according to lab, 4 of us are lab flowers, whom can't be split and must be around for lunch, work and outing.

As time goes by, I felt deeply interested in my lab work, although it has been reduced on workload for pcr and no more for rt reaction, yet I still have the slightest hope towards my project. Am I too naive? I couldn't think so far, what I had now might not be sufficient and persuasive for presentation, that's why I need to work more, work smart. I have been prayed 15 minutes for day and 1 hour for night to wish that I could have the most important thing, wisdom to solve my problems, and be intelligent and rational on the analysis. Could I get results, then I can help others as well. The flame for helping others had never been put off in my heart.

Just now one thinking crossed my mind suddenly. When I was in secondary school, I thought going to University is an enjoyable thing, only the passes to get into uni, the "Form 6" is hardest of all, after that would be honey moon years for us. Who ever thought that FYP is so damn difficult, even you have tried harder, got most of parameters right,yet we still gain nothing. FYP also brought us harsh time to come out with proposals. The worst thing is you need to work in a mini-society environment, whereby undergraduates are not welcomed and we have been labelled as people whom spoil things. So, we often have lots of issues with the masters. They kept reagents that don't allow us to take, kept control on the machine usage and ddidn't even prompted us on proper procedure, those path that we had taken was discovered by ourselves, in return with tears and failure.

Our lab is kind of more strict, more tension, and more high standard lab. The facilities are first class, we have our gloves and masks with lots of provision, which I heard other lab are recycling them, the masters are first class as they speak english well, and did excellently for research. Only thing that comes second class is the undergraduates those FYPs whom still have long way to go for FYP, failed all the time, being scolded and bullied by bands. Oh my god, damn the bands, dare to bully us. Okay, lets challenge back them, they would eventually show up! =) Eveyday is so meanignful and rushy, may four of us be together, persist towards the end~!

The one

This is the one that we should appreciate, simply for the FYP that never comes again, simply for the chances that never crush to us again. What is so big if failed to get results? I have been advised that they won't really penalized us much on the data, rather they wish to know whether we are troubleshooting the problems, which is crucial for the learning processes.

In fact, learning is the key for our living, we learn to live, socialize, communicate, study, cook and so on. Skills are transformed into form of knowledges to be utilized as wisdom in solving problems, that is why is interpreted as the common sense of living. Without knowledges, not just academically, ones is not capable of living. There are really ample of things waiting for discoveries and learn as to accept things from this universe into our brain. Such a big embrace could be, if a person is really willingly and being interested in learning. Thus, learning is a fun process, while to bring happiness to one's acknowledgement. Indeed, this learning could never halt at any time, there is saying that learning is a lifelong process.

I really longed for the opportunity to learn things, have the good fortune to be exposed on many skills, and expertise to create value to people. I strongly believe that value creation is the fundamental principle for living. Without the values to create values, ones are just a puppet to live, no goals, not being appreciated, not being valued, is negative to the environment. So, we take and give. Whatever we took from the environment should be replaced with our contribution to balance back the "take".

Had a meeting with DR.e and masters today, is usual lab-meet that hold twice a week. Dr e had been nice to us , which he always managed to draw out picture so nicely that comfort us all the time, being in angel's time. But when he leaves, masters come in, they will pressurize us and reveal truth to us. Usually that is the time we realize the severity of problems. So its demon time. 

Time passes fast, 2 days before was brother's birthday. Funniest thing ever is he rejected cakes, rejected celebration, just a dinner treat was great enough to him. He even started to plan for mother's birthday which falls around the corner. Such a nice kid. I felt so pleased that he could think mature. Hope this family would become better and overcome the karma as time goes on.=)

Magnum

Eating magnum, this is the first time ever I try on this thick chocolate-ty ice cream that bring a taste of king of ice cream of all. Definitely this is king, as the cream is thick and firm, the chocolate is thick. Out of all is sweet. So know about enjoying life, no doubt nowadays people like to reward themselves, including me,thinking of studying whole day long, plus it is hot weather, so I decided to do crazy things, eat magnum!! This was the second ice cream dessert for today, after haagen dazs. 

Today was having a dialogue with Chia, she is my roommate, I admire her calm and last-minutes-well do characteristics, and most shocking of her, is she able to get the highest marks even she did last-minute study. Such a talented girl. I used to have ice cream with her, she is one of a big fans of this. Chat with her on her relationship issues, when speaking on sensitive things, she will technically escape. She is quite a handful on answering questions with skills.

Buy Nescafe or Milo? I dragged in the Vico, then put back to take Nescafe with tumbler, then changed back to Nescafe +7 free. The point here is I was not confident in my choice, and I kept changing my decision, which simply means I don't have a firm stand on my decision, always. Why has this happened? I guess I was lack of experiences and less trained on making a decision. Actually the decision ain't hard to make, there is no right or wrong on each decision, rather there are benefits and disadvantages for each. However, life is all about taking responsibilities to make decisions and bear with it. Failure is not wrong decision had been made, not the road that had not been taken, rather, is not persisting to the end of whatever you are heading to. Not till the last moments, you can't say you are succeeding.

I heard 3 great people sharing on the Harvard University's talks, which are motivate-based talks. They are Bill Gates, J.K. Rowling, and Oprah Winfrey. Out of these three, J.K. Rowling spoke about "life is impossible without failure", subsequently, phrases from Oprah Winfrey that hit my mind is "There is no such thing about failure, it is about changing the course of route", so these two bombarded into my mind and perhaps could sustain me for the next setbacks.

Say and hear 

A first ever enjoyable and relax night after all day of bombarding with notes and fyp things. Crazily, today only watched one animation, strictly only half. Have gone through a few sentences which make me ponder, poor life could be, but not a meaningless and boring life. This makes me think of pushing boundaries to try extravaganza crazy things.

Out of a sudden, I wanted to go banG jump in Macau, wanted to go for a bag pack tour, wanted to detour to some other unplanned journey. There is always hope if you just courageously push through doors, and open your eyes to see, perceive and learn. Still remember I had heard of life is all about learning, de-learning and relearning. Learning indeed is part of the life.

Someone told me as an iron, tough girl, which I admit sometimes that is really who I am, not tough from the root, instead is the protective mask that cover the weaknesses of mine. I guess everybody has one, just happen to I have too less to grab on and that would bring me more comfort if I protect myself first. Besides tough, I am naughty. Yeah, I am playful, if and only if I have the mood to play, otherwise I am a dumb and bored girl.

Don't say me little, I do not accept this label, I wanted to become big girl, whom can be a pillar of the house, be the person that could not be missed in anywhere, my family needs me, my workplace needs me, my society needs me, That is the values I wanted to create!

Heard and done hearing what people said to me, now I wanted to share something with my dear friend. I had encouraged her to become more scheduled, sets targets and out of regularity of doing tasks, may she finds her goals and mission unearth during her accomplishment.

Values to be added is that I wanted to become more glamorous, in the way I think I act and talk, should these become the cosmetic of my spirit, and eternally shines within my soul. I should study more philosophy and apply them, should bring up capable people, starts to embark new interest that refreshes my life, ends the cored life till here.

Chocolates

Today was so tired after lab work. Again everyday can't run away from lab work. Should I look like being bound to lab just as shag an office lady does. Felt relief after meet with drE whom are my supervisor , is a charming, confident, humor and modest lecturer. He was so good and looks professional in giving lectures. That was the reason I wanted to join and become his FYP students do much, because I could learn things and experience more than others do.

But before today, I was too obsessed with results that I could not be optimistic some more, I thought I lost the ability to smile and not longer cheerful in this semester. However after meeting him, I felt today is a refreshing day, because I learnt that this project is not research and result based study, all is about learning, which failure could happens anytime and this should be a fuel that drive us more discussion and mistakes should not be repeated again. This project is about learning, no result is considered as a result . As long as we play it honestly and true to root to our result, then all reagents and cell lines are worth and valued upon to our efforts.

Indeed we learnt, fall, fail and occasionally succeed, but what remains after every lab work is to figure our mistakes and planning for the other day. This has been culture for four of us. I will definitely remembered the hardships that we had been through and the happiness time we spare every time bands shown. There is no way I can forget, we are four in one!! Just pray that got each of us, we will get good results at the end of experiment which is happy endings for us.

For everything that hit us there must be a reason, and these reasons bring us forth to the victory!! Life is like a box of chocolate, we will never know what might comes to us, from forest gump, and we should accept it the luck and the fate, but somehow like it of not we have to eat it. At least once=)) from Joey

Masks

Now KL has been covered by bad air, besides bad weather, the land has also seemed to be polluted by news such as A' prison news, MH, the BOMOH, and the N's 1 bought for chicken and so on. There are lots of bad things hit this beloved and harmony country that smeared the reputation of HER.

What could that be? Would that a sign of the karma that people are in wrong perception of faith and religion? Or simply it is the sign where we should make a change? People often wear themselves a mask in facing the crowd, even an ugliest man can act so gentlemen, even a flower-hearted man can pretend to be loving you so much, even the people whom smile at you could betray and whistleblowed on things that dragged you into miserable, what more in politics?

These days, I had been observing, observe the true and fake people, observe the shine and dim people, always the true and bright ones be valued much in society. I wanted to be a person true to the root, inspire others to be the same. I don't like wearing masks, but recently, while in progress of doing FYP, I found myself to be really dishonest and naughty to certain extent, which exceed my boundaries. Sometimes, I will wear masks to entertain those things which are not interested, for the sake of getting their favorite, this is not right, but being part of society, this attitude of not pissing people off though you don't like them is important! I have met few people in such in my final semester that really pissed me off, for sure, occasionally I would return them back to the masked face, but personally this is not my principle, I used to be very frank in talking. However, this culture of mine had altered because I had learnt lessons in recent. To ask a favor from others, you have to be really down humble and nice even you don't and are not as such. The situation can really shape a person, wield a person to be strong or break them into pieces. This is truth! For the sake of getting results, I ever think of cheating, I ever think of photoshop. out of controlled,  a seed of cheating was bored into my mind, how could that be? In the past, I don't even encourage myself to get tips, to cheat in exam, and allow others to. Now, my principles just gone, no-no, this can't be, I shall look back and find myself.

Early in the morning, when chanting, I felt my soul crying, craving so much and prayed for getting bands~!! I was totally helpless, in facing the people in lab, projects in lab and not even into mood to class. I was ruined by my projects. Please don't think I ironed woman, don't think I am so strong, instead, deep inside my hearts was full of thorns and holes.

However, one thing that I proud to myself is I like to help others, I enjoy the feelings of being a heroine, I indulge into independence, which I could be confident to say that I have faith to change, for this FYP, there must be magic at the end, that could bring us through hard times.

Soul

Anything could happen , listening this song in this moment just shower me the relaxation that I am fully indulge into, after long day of tired lab work. Today loss energetic, because I was not performing well in pipetting, the buffer sticks, not doing well in communicating, dragging time, overlapped time of PCR, and the primers problem. Adding up together of those problems, cumulative guilty and doubtful feelings had ruined my feelings. However this was not too bad, there is still moment I enjoy at the very last moment of my lab day, was realizing Mary's pipette made an error, then only I mixed things less. Finally cause of problems shown and put away clouds of doubt=)

Plane Boeing is now missing, unclear destiny. Recently just too many bad things happen that crush our mood even worse. For me little girl in little world, this lab work is just a pea-sy thing that is extremely small case compared to the politics, the plane and so on. Don't blame don't distress, there are lots of things to bother in outside world, such as kosen-rufu, the endeavor of fighting peace. That's why it's always a remind for me to look up to great people. Nelson Mandela said hope is powerful weapon even when there is nothing left, this is true. A girl shared in UN MEET that a pencil, a book, a child and a teacher could change the world. 

Recall back the purpose of education the purpose of going university, aren't those a pathway to gain happiness and strive for others? Why such mindset and spirit has gone away that doesn't cheer me anymore because of the continuous crush from FYP, shouldn't be!! Stand up hope is the one, grab and pass to others. Creating values is the fundamental goal in life, body is just a cover for soul what really enchanted a person is the soul, we talk we exchange soul, we cry we comfort soul, so where is my soulmate? 

Craving

This is what I feel now, craving for food, in the middle of the night. Just now was rushing on assignments, moments before still struggling whether or not eat something, is hard to make a decision, since eating this late would not be any good.

Discussion on the student house's issue was held in SD house just now, thanks to KOK. T for sharing us on peace proposal, which speaks of value-creating. What is value creating? Basically, it is a call for ourself to reconstruct ourselves by overcoming weaknesses, and prepare to maximize our potential, goes beyond our limit, push through boundaries, take up sufferings of others, and help them. Supposedly, ideally this is the mission of our lives.

How many times we have been bombarded with this concept, and yet we forget, we de-priorities, we ignore the existence of this? I still remember this was once the goal of my study, of my striving, however, as time goes on, things happen to crush our confidence, crush out faith, I am no longer hopeful and as bright as others would think, yet I am still holding on this, not letting go, wish that someday I could go back to me, a bright side of me=)

Hope is everything, as what KOK. t shared us on Mendela's quote "Hope is powerful weapon even though nothing's remain", how to achieve hope? By acquiring wisdom, mastering our mind. How could that be done? By education, for people whom read a lot, they are confident, and are seeing things in global scale, since this universe is big, no such a thing that comes wouldn't pass, nothing could be trapped anyway, people who read a lot are open minded, are productive, are well in expressing, these are people whom in line with human development. Malala, a girl who had once been threatened by terrorist by her age of 15 years old, voiced up at the UN meet with " a pen, a book, a child, a teacher, can change the world", I could say, the girl was brave, hopeful and is surely an awesome noble person in years to come. What more to me, an undergraduate, from a blessed family and country, with such good and secured environment, what had I been done, contribute to this society?

Now, I would say I am hungry and craving for happiness. Yesterday morning a flight MH370 had been reported missing from the sky. Right before the day, was the news of Dr Anwar. I that bothers our country. Too much sad and unfair that hit us, let us not been ruined by disappointment, instead fuel with more hope, and pray for a better future. People with easy containment is always blessed and fortunate. At least I believe to this extent could make me more relief and grounded. This afternoon, I had gone though a video describing what Japanese people wrote on a crushing plane back in 1977. Those are comments to their family, to their loved ones, to their unfinished business, they accepted and prayed for it. What left them the most is the "not-able-to-be", this is the regret feeling that I had ever experienced, during the passing of my dad. That was really moved me, a lot of things happen to be so sudden that we might never have chance to say goodbye, to conclude in a full stop for everything, so many things that we missed could never been able to replace, that's it.

So treat every day as last day, treat every moment as last resolve, left no remain, to utilize our time, live hopeful and fulfilled days ahead.

Library

This is a refreshing, relaxing days which I have time to manage my blog. Just checked back my blog, I have missed out not just 2 days, 5 instead~!! OMG~ This was a busy week, everyday checked in lab at 8am, one even with 7am, back home at 10pm, supper at night, superfat I suppose my body will be><

Done with this whole week, I have gained lots of band, which I prayed hard for it. Everytime I mixed things and reagents I prayed, every time I wait for result, I prayed, everytime I touched the machine, I prayed for them, they are my shoten-zen-jin, must show result!! Huh, that was it for last week. I prayed for getting positive results, so that I can service for others, help others, and may all achieve results together. I remind myself be humble, not ego, be moderate.

Every morning when I prayed, I told myself work hard to through the day, and report victory to gohonzon. There you are, I made it! Every step I made, every action I did was completely blessed, I felt so grateful for things came to me, for the bad and good where all of these have made me a lesson for growing, learning and experiencing.Without them, I might relax throughout semester, but gain nothing. No pain, no gain. These were great pain, total suffer, tortured by the masters and bad results.

But all those happy and sad things will passed, whether or not, we should accept wit open arms, receive and take it, be tough Joey, be strong Joey, conquer weaknesses Joey, I kept bombarding this into my mind, that's why my days are tough, hard-core, till the moment I sleep at night, I could tell that was my fulfilled days without regrets!

Today, I come here, this place, to write my blog, start an energetic day, revising day!

The Power of good

Have missed out 2 days, missed this blog badly, sadly, I had not able to withdraw my time to write things here. These two days had lots of things happen, especially yesterday. Yesterday was a day in my life that I've gotten most bands, which 4 genes in 5 different temperature shown up all on 2 gels!! Though good things happen, bad things will come, the van which never been die off was completely break down yesterday. We were pulling the van inside to the house, back from uni, the van had not been on a single stop which was not able to do so, if not jump start operation has to be performed.

For my boss, known as ah ma in the house, she had lost her pouch with her IC, handphone; and she accidentally crushed the saga side with the gate. She was okay when I saw her during after school, which I did not even noticed anything wrong with her. She had just did the same as my previous time,which personally I think is inevitable (for the car accident).

When we came home, she realised that she forgot to bring her room's key along, which had left inside the room. She was then tried to take another keys on the lock one by one. Finally, she was able to locate one. Such a relief. Another thing is, there was a 'cicak' in the sink, died off nicely,no shrinking of the body. That was shocked me when i used the sink. The house tragedy ended here.

To me, the bands shown was completely a blessed to me, marked advancement in my project, which is fine enough. It covers the bad already. Without the help from plant science's master, we will not get attention of the masters from our lab, she won't test tubes, which she kept saying we lie; without the other masters, we would not have the correct protocol of mastermix, which was not known by all of us; without them, we would not change the thickness of gel and lower the voltage to get the bands, which I got them~!!!

They are my shoten-zen-jin, I have prayed a lot strength of good to help, I appreciate it  so much, and   I am going to dedicate to my friens! =). Do good feel good

Words

Lotus Sutra is indeed a supreme remain that had took efforts of Shakyamuni, monks, mentors, and finally to us, which had span through India, China, Japan, and lastly South East Asia. Without the efforts from them, without the monument, without the writings, without the recordings, without the initiatives of refurnishment, we could never have chance to see the wall which had all the parodies painted all over it, we could never learn different parodies, we could never learnt Buddhism retransmission back to East, we could never enjoy the Buddhism which is happiness machine.

Thanks to mentors, especially Mr Daisaku Ikeda, whom had decided to embark worldwide kosen-rufu by 1960. In year 1961, he had reached Hawaii, and India, even visited the Bodhi tree. Thinking back if he had not make this, this Buddhism will just practiced and studied by the Japanese alone, without letting more people savouring the happiness.

Everything started with records. During the Shakyamuni delivered Buddhism teachings, he was using the well known language instead of high class language. Second, the translation by the monks had made this Buddhism available in different version, so people would allow to learn it. Thirdly, we could see that Nichiren had conveyed the message to his disciple for encouragement through letters, which appeared in a different version too. These are words, letters, whom survived for centuries, to meet with  people who needed it, in destiny to see them. These are not merely letters, alphabets, they are souls, they alive, vibrantly joyfully and run into our minds when we read them, seep deeply into our brain, who knows one day we would recall and use them one day?

This taught me of start recording things, even a minute, worthless things, we should write down, who knows one day later we read this in old age as a form of memorial. So,the day after exhibition, I was starting up my on a blog, which is good, keep track on my life.

Besides,there are lots of sharing from the LSE exhibition that those whom adorn themselves with heart of repaying gratitude for Sensei and organization. Sparks easily happen for those whom had adorned with this gratitude mind, as they are easily get touched with most encounters and attracted most of good ichinen which gather the good consequences at the end. So people whom are happy, knows gratitude, are always easy to savour happiness and attain fulfillment.

I really do chant to go for second time, this time bring my FYP mates=)
Im possible!!

Souls

Today spent the whole day to do 4-page assignment, and 15 minutes of a movie. Felt time passes fast, how could my productivity be so slow, that only did a few things in this whole day long? Em...should figure out to improve. Browsed through fb saw many couples' weddings had fallen on this great day, 1314, indicated by 1st of March on 2014. These days couples are just able to look out interesting dates and numbers to make fun on the day. Indeed, we are moving towards social and e-life now, everything shared in fb, people connected so closely that even sit beside they would rather communicate via non-living things such as fb.

For these 20 years more, my life was so bored, not much entertainment, no partner, miserable encounters most of the time, even until this old age, I would feel that sometimes I have been just bad luck. No no, change my ichinen, something good is waiting to show up. Good things fall apart so better comes in. This is learnt from the vocab. I believe=)

During chanting, there was something came across my mind. That came when I prayed for the recovery of a uni-mate's sister whom had involved in an accident, I prayed for her able to stand up, initiate a new life despite of keep trapping in traumatized life. In this lifetime, our soul is just borrowing our body to manifest functions, carrying out the mission. To reach ultimate mission, we have to complete targets where in every encounter, we showed others the manners and ways to transform our karma into mission, and savoring the true happiness. Souls could live as happily as body is, or even not restricted by body, it can attain completeness by itself, as this is the ultimate resolve of what a Buddha had realized in. Nothing in this world can tie souls, can restrict our souls, rather is our ichinen that sets souls free, hence souls' power are much unexpected that a body could does. Without souls, we could be termed as a dead body, which is similar to a death person. Souls has been a useful dress to us, with bright and energetic souls, we are able to live beautifully and charmingly. Likewise, souls do connect people via dialogue, is part of synchronizing the souls from each other in an united ways. I felt that if a person had ended his or her mission, the souls will be set free, returning to the universe.

For this time being, I wished I could live everyday happily, realising the missions of my life, accomplishing targets to manifest the power of faith, perseverance and all, and also prayed for longevity of people around me, for able to live brilliantly and energetically, giving courage to each other, yield fruitful days. I have long wish to have met with people with so enormous charms that can infect me, be my comrades,to embark a challengeable yet exciting life, to share on everyting, to have endless topics.  Meanwhile, I am challenging myself in getting a soulmate, which I almost had one during my former six perid but I blown it up myself. Now, I make a new resolution that I needed to find soulmate as my soul partner, share and bare things together, leading me into new phase of life where I will be able to learn and grow over it. =)